Guerrilla Job Hunting

3-5 years work experience - What do they really mean?

We’re looking for young and stupid ideally .... someone we can burnout ourselves.

Required/Preferred - What do they really mean?

This is the old Wal-Mart tactic - we want as much experience as we can get for the same low low price

Benefits package included - What do they really mean?

You get your own locker and a first aid kit too

Very Competitive salary - What do they really mean?

This job is straight commission – you eat what you kill.

Job hunting phrases and what they really mean.

Here are some of my favorite phrases and what they really mean.

• Phrase
• You probably think
• What it really means
• What you can do about it

Phrase: Fresh culture

You probably think
This firm subscribes to New Age management techniques to build and promote the best in the individual.

What it really means
We’re all 20 something’s so if you’re old [over 30] don’t apply.

What you can do about it
Check out who’s on their Board of Directors. If they’re all 20 something's as well negotiate a strong parachute.

Job hunting phrases and what they really mean.

Here are some of my favorite phrases and what they really mean.

• Phrase
• You probably think
• What it really means
• What you can do about it

 Phrase: Progressive environment

You probably think
There’s room to grow and move up the ladder based on performance.

What it really means
You can keep working here if you perform otherwise asta la vista baby.

What you can do about it
Inquire as to how they motivate and keep their top performers. A blank deer in the headlights expression means trouble

Job hunting phrases and what they really mean.

Here are some of my favorite phrases and what they really mean.

• Phrase
• You probably think
• What it really means
• What you can do about it

 Phrase: Dynamic

You probably think
This place needs a high energy go-getter to set the pace.

What it really means
We’re a dull bunch of really really smart engineers who’ve developed this radically cool bleeding edge widget. But we’re not in “sales” and we can’t explain to anyone what it’s for..

What you can do about it
Ask who the lead customer is. If they don’t have one be careful it may mean there is no market.

Negotiable With experience - what do they mean?

We haven’t a clue what to pay you so we’re hopping you can tell us.

Job hunting phrases and what they really mean.

Here are some of my favorite phrases and what they really mean.

• Phrase
• You probably think
• What it really means
• What you can do about it

 
Phrase: Ground floor opportunity

You probably think
There’s room for growth in a fast paced organization on the rise

What it really means
We have a product/service we think is really cool. We’re not sure anyone will buy it so we need a hustler to get out there and prove us right.

What you can do about it
Go to Hoovers and search online for the company’s competitors and see how their products are fairing and then ask what’s different about theirs in the interview.

Creative Work Environment - What do the really mean?

We don’t have a lot of money to give you but we sure have fun together on the weekend!

Job hunting phrases and what they really mean.

Here are some of my favorite phrases and what they really mean.

• Phrase
• You probably think
• What it really means
• What you can do about it

 
Phrase: Self-starter

You probably think
This job requires a great deal of initiative

What it really means
You’re on your own. Remember that old saying “sink or swim”. Here’s where the rubber really meets the road cause your on your own baby!

What you can do about it
Go to Google and run a search with the name of the company as well as the word resume. This will return the resumes of people who used to work at the firm. Call them up and ask them what it’s like to work there.

Dedicated team player - What do they really mean?

I’m the boss and you’re going to be working for me!